Overview
Installation
What's New?
Usage
FAQ
History
The Future
Acknowledgements
Support
Legal
AutoInsult is a silly little program that runs under Win95 / WinNT and generates insults for you in either a Shakespearean or modern style.
It copies them into the clipboard so that you can paste them wherever you deem appropriate. J
AutoInsult requires no special installation. Extract the files to their own directory, and run AutoInsult.exe. You may want to put a shortcut to it on your desktop or in your start menu.
AutoInsult will not touch your registry, so to uninstall it you just delete the directory again.
There's not a lot too it, really. Choose the type of insult you want from the tabs at the top (Modern or Shakespearean). An insult will be generated.
You can then hit "Again Please!" to generate another, or use the drop-lists to modify one or more of the fields. When you have the perfect insult, press "Copy to Clipboard" to (gasp!) copy it to the clipboard. What you do with it after that is up to you.
Click "About" to call up an "About" box which, amongst other things, will allow to you jump straight to my web site or send me some mail.
This section answers frequently asked questions (FAQs). Some of these questions are real ones that people have actually asked me, others are ones that I think may be asked.
So what will AutoInsult do for me?
It generates insults for you, you uncouth truckload of soggy rodent droppings.
Why?
Why not, you pustulent glob of noxious armpit hairs? J
No, really. Why did you write it?
I'd had an amusing email insult war with some colleagues at work. I remembered an insult program I had seen many years ago (c. 1985) and did a web search that evening to see what I could come up with (see Acknowledgements). I found resource material for the Shakespearean insults, and that was about it. So I decided to write my own.
What on earth would I use it for?
If you can't think of a reason, then this program is not for you it seems. J
I'm deeply insulted by all this.
Well, it is a program that generates insults, after all, so I threw a few into the documentation. Seriously, if this genuinely offends you, then I'm terribly sorry. Please accept my apologies, delete the program, forget that it ever happened, and come back when you have a sense of humour.
Hey, a lot of the spellings are wrong!
Since I'm British, I used a UK dictionary to spell-check the words in the program. I may release an American English version in the future (see The Future), but for now, consider it payback time for all the programs out there that assume that American English is the de facto standard for spelling. J
This documentation seems a little over the top for such a silly program
That's true. But a large proportion of it was cut & pasted from the documentation of one of my other programs (RemoteShutdown)
I want more information about AutoInsult / you haven't answered my question. What do I do now?
If you still have questions about AutoInsult then feel free to email me at software.JonRB@dial.pipex.com and I'll do my best to answer your question. Please see the support section of this document for more information before you do this.
I have some great words you haven't included.
Well mail them to me then, you spittle-encrusted mound of decomposed moose entrails. Please don't be too offensive though. J
I emailed you ages ago. Why don't you reply / bring out a new version immediately / come round and clean my house for me?
Well, as you've probably noticed, AutoInsult is freeware. This is because I hold down a full-time programmer's job, and I just do these freeware utilities because I'm sad and have a hobby that is the same as my job. I'll get round to it when I feel like it. You get what you pay for with freeware. Having said that, most bug reports result in a fix fairly quickly - usually within a few days. But that isn't a promise.
You're my hero! Will you marry me?
Well, provided you're female and single then I'd love to hear from you. Otherwise I'll have to decline. Do feel free to send me money though. J
|
Version |
Date |
Reason |
|
v1.0 |
06-May-98 |
Internal release. Only did Shakespearean insults |
|
v2.0 |
08-May-98 |
1st external release. Does both Shakespearean and modern insults, and has my standard "About" box, documentation, etc. |
|
v2.01 |
09-May-98 |
Realised that v2.0 had been incorrectly labelled as v1.0 (ie. I forgot to update the version number). |
I may add the following features in the future:
Whether or not I actually implement these will depend on the amount of feedback I get from people.
The resources for the Shakespearean insults were found on the web. There are many sites that generate these insults. Some sites credit Jerry Maguire of Center Grove High School, Greenwood Indiana, as being the originator of the list of words.
A proportion of the modern words came from an old MS-DOS program called Insults from the Modern Advisory Institute, Utah (Freeware, © 1983-1985). Incredibly I still had a copy of it on a floppy disk.
All the other words came from my own sick head, I'm afraid.
I consider all the words to be in the Public Domain (especially the modern ones, which are all in the dictionary) and do not feel that I have infringed anyone's copyright. If you disagree then please contact me.
By releasing this software as FREEWARE I am not committing myself to providing any support for it. My feeling is that if you get something for free you shouldn't feel that you then have the right to demand more stuff (like support).
However, I am willing to provide limited email support at my discretion. Please mail me at software.JonRB@dial.pipex.com stating your problem, with as much detail as possible. I'm afraid that emails that simply say "your software doesn't work" will not help much. I will look into the problem and may provide a workaround or bug fix.
I am afraid that I am not willing to provide any support via phone or fax, even if you phone me or otherwise pay for the call. I really don't appreciate people in different time zones phoning me in the middle of the night.
This program is released as FREEWARE. As such it may be used free of charge for personal use. Its use for commercial or academic purposes is prohibited without the author's express (and prior) permission.
This software is provided "as is". I take no responsibility for any loss, damage, heartache or problems it may cause, and make no guarantees as to its fitness of purpose. I have tried to ensure that it is as bug-free as possible, but again cannot guarantee that it is nor take responsibility for any damages that either directly or indirectly result. There are no warranties, either expressed or implied with this software.
You may freely distribute this software so long as either the original zip file or the files contained within it are distributed together and are not modified in any way. You may not sell this software to anyone, and may not charge anyone for distributing it. It may not be bundled in any CD or compilation without the author's prior written permission.
Copyright (C) 1997, 1998, Jon Roch-Berry. All rights reserved. All registered trademarks are recognised as belonging to their respective owners.